Sometimes We Must Let Go Of The People We Love
It can be challenging to make changes for the better in our lives sometimes. Especially when these changes involve people that we love or care about.
When we start down a path of self healing or self discovery we often start to learn about boundaries and how to create healthy boundaries. We are really creating new patterns here, or new dances so to speak.
Not everyone in our lives will want to participate in our new dances. More often than not, the people that have the hardest time with our changes are the ones that are hurting the most.
When we start to empower ourselves and make better choices and start to speak our truths to others, we can find that sometimes the ones we care about the most can have the strongest reactions. This is because we are changing and deciding not to participate in the pattern (or dance) that has been going on for years.
If you are in a relationship that isn’t serving the new you, then sometimes we have to let those relationships go. If you are surrounded by people that constantly put you down directly or indirectly, and you have spoken your truth to them, but they decide to continue with the same pattern then it may be time to look at detaching from that relationship.
Our relationships, whether it is friends, close relatives, parents, or in-laws, are to be positive. We want to feel good around the people that we surround ourselves with. We want to choose people that will listen and empower us rather than condemn and strip us down.
Yes, this includes our close family. It doesn’t matter if this is your parent or sibling continually treating you like garbage. Unwilling to hear your feelings or bashing you when you try to communicate with them. We have the hardest time with this.
We feel like we HAVE to keep these destructive relationships in our lives out of obligation. “But this is my parent…I can’t let go of my parent…” I hear this often. When this person, WHOEVER it is, is abusive and unwilling to change then tell me…why would we want them in our lives? Why would we want to subject ourselves to that type of energy? Why would we sacrifice our well-being just because we feel we HAVE to?
No. This is not right.
We deserve the best in our lives. We deserve to be surrounded by people that support us and be our cheerleaders. To care and comfort us in time of need. To help guide and uplift us to be the best that we can be.
I’m not saying that everything is going to be perfect. There may be conflict and challenges that arise within these positive relationships. The difference though, is in the communication that happens when conflict arises.
It’s to be constructive not destructive. Both parties are willing to listen and share how things make them feel. Both parties are willing to make changes and respect the boundaries that are being put forth.
I saw this Meme the other day that said something to the effect of ” people that leave you didn’t really love you because they wanted you to change…so stay the same because they never really loved you…”. It slightly irritated me because the energy behind it was perpetuating victim-hood and was covered in guilt energy.
What if the exact thing that your loved ones really need is for you to leave their lives so that they can create their own new patterns? Maybe by allowing them to treat us badly we are possibly enabling them to participate in the dance? Something to think about.
On the flip side…
If you are continually acting like an asshole and continually hurting the people in your life, then there is going to be a chance that those people are going to walk away from the relationship with you. If you aren’t listening to what the people in your life are saying to you and are combative and unwilling to look at the responsibility that you hold in your part of the dance, then people may leave the dance.
We deserve the best in our lives. The best in everything, especially with whom we choose to share these bests.
Choose wisely. 🙂
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