Archive for the ‘Personal Development’ Category

This month is all about love and Valentine’s Day.  We focus on showing love for spouses, family and friends, but what about love for ourselves?  Maybe we can think about showing ourselves a little more love and kindness!

Many of us struggle with self-love and really focusing on ourselves and what we need.  How often do you get time to sit down and think about how great of a person you are, and what you have to offer the world?  Instead we go about our day beating ourselves up, criticizing what we do and second guessing every move we make.  It’s time to be kind!

Are you searching for love outside of yourself?  How many times have you thought or said, ” I wish my husband (or significant other) would show me more love…would be more romantic…would compliment me more…?”.  Yes it’s nice to receive love and compliments, but ask yourself if this is where your sense of security and self-worth is stemming from?  Why is it that you hope and wait to hear compliments from others, but not give them to yourselves?

But how do we love ourselves?  How do we change this?  We first become aware of what our thoughts are.  What we are thinking about ourselves is very important.  If we are constantly beating up on ourselves, stop and ask why.  Where is this thought coming from?  What is the belief around it?  Has someone said this to you in the past, and you have adopted this belief as your own?

Start looking at where in your life you are feeling unsatisfied and start making changes.  Do you work at a job that you hate?  Do you have relationships that don’t bring value to your life?  What are your passions?  What do you love to do?  Why aren’t you doing the things you love to do?  What is stopping you?

Yes, there are many questions to ask ourselves and sure, some of them are tough to find the answers for.

How long can you keep avoiding looking for the answers and keep living a life that you are unhappy with?  How much time will pass by before you realize that receiving love from others REALLY starts with you loving yourself unconditionally?

What are you waiting for?

To book a session to help you on your path…contact Drea.

Something to focus on in the New Year for yourself is finding some alone time.

I recommend spending at least a couple of hours a week just being by yourself doing whatever it is you enjoy.  Most of us lead very busy lives and with that it is really important for you to find time to recharge yourself, away from family and friends.  Reading a book, setting new goals, meditating, exercising, or even going to a movie.  Turn off your phones, stop texting and just be with yourself.

I really struggled with my alone time at first.  It felt uncomfortable!  I really felt like I was doing something wrong, that I didn’t have time to sit around and do “nothing”, so to speak.  The more I practiced being alone, the better I felt.  I felt calmer, more productive and was able to focus on being in the moment more.  I set time aside to decide on what I wanted out of life, what my goals were, or where I wanted to go.

Sure, you have kids, and work and life.  And yes, it gets in the way.  But, it gets in the way because you allow it to.  Mom’s feel selfish for taking time for themselves, or feel like they have to do everything and not relinquish the control and let their partner help.  So what if they don’t do the task the same way you do? Does it have to be perfect?  Tell me which lesson for your children is more important?  Seeing Mom or Dad taking time for themselves to better themselves as an individual and seeing them feel more fulfilled and live their lives with purpose. Or seeing Mom and Dad stay the same year in and out, leading a life based on what they “think” they want, not taking time out to re-evaluate themselves because they are too busy keeping up with the Jones’.

It’s time to stop keeping up with the Jones’ down the street and start living your life happy and fulfilled.  It doesn’t matter that your house doesn’t look perfect all the time, just in case someone happens to stop by.  Or that your in-laws might think that you aren’t doing “it” just right.  Time to stop worrying about what others think, and start thinking about what you think!

Tell me, what do you think?  Do you think?  Do you wonder about what is out there for you?  What your passions are?  How you can connect more with what makes you happy?  What are your hobbies?  What do you like to do?  These are just some of the things you can start thinking about while taking your alone time.  It’s time to start living a more fulfilled life!

Some of us can start implementing a change quite easily and just find 3 hours in a day to start life changing things.  I wasn’t one of those people.  My husband can do that, but I couldn’t when I first started out with “me time”.  This is why I am a firm believer in baby steps.  Start small.  Start with 30 minutes once a week if you have to.  And make the task simple, like reading a book that is sitting on your shelf collecting dust.  It’s important for you to carve that time out, and schedule it if you have to.  Then move the time up to 60 minutes and ramp up the activity.  Even if you have to start with 10 minutes, do it.  Take 10 minutes to yourself.  Not to check email, or phone messages or write a grocery list.  Take 10 minutes and write in a journal, or listen to music or sit quietly alone.  Everyone can find 10 minutes in their schedule.

Schedule the time to yourself and prepare yourself for the excuses to pop up, because they will!  One of the kids got sick and needs to go to the doctor.  You mother in-law has to stop by.  Work wants you to pick up an extra shift.  It doesn’t matter what the excuse is.  If you are serious about improving your over all well being then schedule your time, maybe in a quiet part of the day and when things “pop” up, schedule around it.

Your future self will thank you for it.