Archive for the ‘Relationships’ Category

Something I have been working on creating in my life is to have really authentic relationships.  Relationships that are deep and meaningful and most of all, honest.

I felt like I had been pretty successful in weeding out any in-authenticity in my life, but I knew that there was something holding me back from allowing more “real” people to flow in.

Yesterday I had a major breakthrough in a session with a healer.  I’ve known this person for many years now and I was called to see him through my intuition.  It took a year of nagging by my guides…but I finally listened.  Haha!  I am stubborn sometimes.  😀

I’ve been having neck and hip challenges since my car accidents, 6 years ago.  Most of the healing had been done, but I kept getting these relapses where these trouble spots would seize up.  Last week I happened to have one of those relapses and my neck totally seized up, for 4 days!  It just so happened that Paul had seen a posting on Facebook from a mutual friend, Nima Rahmany saying that he was now doing mobile chiropractic work in the Lower Mainland and would come out to our home.  Must be a coincidence, right?  Ha! 😉

So, I decided to book an appointment for an adjustment with him, which happened to be yesterday!  He came to my home, set up his equipment and then we had a chat.  He asked me a bunch of questions, of which most I can’t remember now.  We did talk about what I wanted/or what I was lacking in my life right now.  I told him how I wanted to seek out more relationships/people that were authentic and that I was tired of how some people around me were not being real and authentic in our relationship.

Through a series of more questioning (what a nosy bastard, eh?  hehe) we came to the conclusion that I was being a hypocritical asshole!  There was a fairly significant relationship in my life that I wasn’t being real in.  Right under my nose!  Can you believe it?!   People that really know me would probably say that I’m pretty straight forward and to the point.  The awareness of this realization of having this type of relationship was quite surprising.  🙂

We then dove deeper!  More questions…more answers…more awareness!  For a while now, I’ve been aware of a subconscious program I’ve been running of “not being good enough”.  I’ve been working on tackling it for a while now.  Yesterday it was linked back to this significant relationship in which I wasn’t being real in.  There were feelings/actions from the past that were hindering the relationship today, and I was allowing it to happen!

This relationship had/has love in it…it was just stiff and awkward.  We didn’t really go deep into much conversation, topics were kept light.  The dance didn’t flow like it could, so to speak.

So here we are talking about this new founded awareness and what does Nima say?  “Ok, now you are going to call this person and tell them how you have been pretending to be in a relationship with them.”  I think my words back to him were something like…”are you fucking kidding me?  I can’t do that!”  LOL!  He pretty much told me too bad…you are doing it.  This was my homework.  We made a game plan of what I was going to talk about, through most of which I cried.  I had Nima running for kleenex multiple times through this bit of the session.  🙂

So I put my big girl panties on…and did it.  I had this conversation with this person.  This was big.  I was facing a huge fear I didn’t realize I had.  I got really real.  The conversation was the most honest conversation we have ever had.  And it was fabulous.  I shared, this person shared and we left the conversation with a new level of depth and openness.  I am so grateful I followed through and had this conversation.  It really transformed this relationship in a matter of 20 minutes.

One of the things Nima said to me that really hit home and was a deciding factor in having this conversation with this person was that we don’t really know how much time we have left.  Well…he actually said “You’re gonna die soon…you don’t know how long u have to do this.”  Hahah!  His words hit home, because we don’t know how much time we have here on Earth.  I am a big believer in living in the present moment and in being open, honest and present for the relationships in my life.

In writing this story and sharing with you, I hope I have inspired you to take a look at the relationships in your life and find a way to be more open and honest in them.  😀

This video really resonated with me for a few different reasons.  One of those reasons is because of my sister Faye.

Faye is my older sister who was born with special needs and doesn’t fit within the social norms of what we perceive a “normal” person should look like or be like. To know Faye is to love her.  She has many endearing qualities. She is positive, funny and full of love. She is full of imperfections, which make her perfect just the way she is. Most people miss out on knowing Faye, which of course is their loss.  A loss due to social conditioning, judgments, and fear.

Growing up with Faye was far from easy.  There were many challenges and lessons learned with having Faye as a sister.  There were many gifts too.  I don’t mean physical gifts.  I am referring to gifts like compassion, sensitivity to others, being open to differences and much more.

The questions I leave you with are, where in your life can you let go of judgments?  Judgments of self, of loved ones, or of strangers.  Where in your life can you bring in more light and love? How can you live in a space of compassion and total acceptance?

When we look inward and start making these changes of living less in judgment and more in total acceptance of ourselves, we shift our energy.  We then judge less of others and look past peoples imperfections and be more accepting.

My wish for Faye and everyone in this world is to live in a world of acceptance of who we are.  For people to look past our limitations and see the wonderful beings we are.

What one judgment of yourself can you let go of today?

Leave your comments below.

I’ve decided to start offering a new service.  I think that this service will be beneficial to many, but especially to those who are seeking tools to help them better their lives and relationships.

This 2 hour session will be tailored to your specific needs and will enable you to move past energetic and emotional blocks so that you can start creating the life you want.  These sessions will help you understand more about your life and gain a greater understanding of what is holding you back from the next step in your growth.  We will look at overcoming fears and re-aligning energy to better access the limitless energy that you deserve.

These sessions can be implemented at any point in your journey.  Whether you are just starting out or have reached a plateau and are looking for the next level, you can benefit from these sessions.

The cost of a transformational session is $200.

Contact me to book your session.

Receiving is as equally important as giving.  In this short video I talk about the importance of receiving and give you some ideas on how to receive better in your life.

Enjoy!

Going on vacation is great.  Down time to recharge and play is important.

I’m in Maui for the next little while to have fun and play in the sun and surf.  I love it here!

Today we were out and about and traveled up the island from where we are staying.  What I noticed was interesting.

There were tourists running around like crazy.  They were frantic and talking about how they had to get all these gifts for people.

We were at a lookout watching the whales play and breach in the water and there were people preoccupied on their cell phones.  They totally missed the opportunity to be in the moment with these whales.

There were many stressed out tourists out there today and I guess it just surprises me.  The locals aren’t stressed out…so why would we be?

Some people are so used to creating stress and anxiety in their everyday lives that they bring it with them on vacation.

Let’s look at changing that pattern!  Get in the moment!  Enjoy your life…whether you are at work or on vacation!  Let go of the things that don’t really matter and embrace what’s important!

Be in the now!  Focus on what brings you joy and love!

Don’t think that just because I am away in Maui that it’s easy for me to say this and that I’m only talking or doing this because I am on vacation.  I focus on joy and love and being in the now every day.

Every day gets better and better!  I want this for you too!

What is one thing you can focus on to bring you to a state of joy as well as focusing on being in the moment?

Many people have asked me about soul mates.  The how’s and when’s and why’s of being or wanting a soul mate.  I thought I would share with you a few myths surrounding soul mates.

Myth #1 – We only have one Soul Mate

This is a myth.  I prefer to call it a soul connection rather than a soul mate.  We have many soul connections over our life time.  You may meet someone and refer to them as a kindred spirit.  Chances are when you meet this other soul, there is a strong sense of familiarity or comfort when seeing them.  Hey, you might even strongly despise them right off the bat for no reason at all.  Chances are, this soul has wronged you in a past life.  A soul connection doesn’t always mean that you will have a sexual relationship with them.  They could be life long friends, co-workers, or earth angels even!

I have had many soul connections so far.  Some are great, some not so great.   This leads us to our next myth…

Myth #2 – When I meet a Soul Mate I will live happily ever after

Wrongo Bongo!

Well..I guess it depends on your perception for part of this one.  😉

Soul connections, especially the important ones, are here to help us learn!  They are here to assist us with our life lessons and sometimes this will drive us crazy!  From my perception, this is awesome!  Other people might not like this so much.

Some soul connections are very strong and intense and are meant to last a life time, but some are very short lived.  We may only get a few years with a soul connection, whether it be a friend or a lover.

Paul is a soul connection for me.  When I first met him, it was an instant connection.  We talked everyday after that.  He has been my biggest support and my biggest challenge!  I have learned many things from him.  Some days he just drives me crazy.  He can be a real dork sometimes!  Haha!  😀

I’ve had other soul connections like this with friends.  Learned many things from them.  Some of them are still in my life, some are not.  This is ok.  Just because we meet a soul connection, it doesn’t always mean we are going to live happily ever after with them.

Myth 3# –   My Soul Mate will be just like me

Nope!

They are a completely different person and a different soul.  They too have lessons here to learn.  They will have their own personality.  You may have a few qualities or interests that are similar, but really they are a different person.

Embrace your differences and enjoy them.  Chances are that your differences will compliment the relationship and enhance it.

Myth #4 – My Soul Mate should already be perfect

LOL.  Ya right!

Are you perfect?  Probably not!  What is perfection anyways?  A fantasy…that’s what!

Should??  Says who?  We will attract a soul connection that is perfect for us in the moment we are in.  They will be human.  They will have challenges, just like us!

If you believe this myth, it really leaves no room for growth, evolving or discovering.  Remember, if you spot it…you got it!

The best of relationships take commitment, time, honesty, compassion and awareness.

By becoming aware of these myths, you can let go of the blocks that have been holding you back from allowing more soul connections in.

What is your favorite soul connection story?  Let us know below!

It can be challenging to make changes for the better in our lives sometimes.  Especially when these changes involve people that we love or care about.

When we start down a path of self healing or self discovery we often start to learn about boundaries and how to create healthy boundaries.  We are really creating new patterns here, or new dances so to speak.

Not everyone in our lives will want to participate in our new dances.  More often than not, the people that have the hardest time with our changes are the ones that are hurting the most.

When we start to empower ourselves and make better choices and start to speak our truths to others, we can find that sometimes the ones we care about the most can have the strongest reactions.  This is because we are changing and deciding not to participate in the pattern (or dance) that has been going on for years.

If you are in a relationship that isn’t serving the new you, then sometimes we have to let those relationships go.  If you are surrounded by people that constantly put you down directly or indirectly, and you have spoken your truth to them, but they decide to continue with the same pattern then it may be time to look at detaching from that relationship.

Our relationships, whether it is friends, close relatives, parents, or in-laws, are to be positive.  We want to feel good around the people that we surround ourselves with.  We want to choose people that will listen and empower us rather than condemn and strip us down.

Yes, this includes our close family.  It doesn’t matter if this is your parent or sibling continually treating you like garbage.  Unwilling to hear your feelings or bashing you when you try to communicate with them.  We have the hardest time with this.

We feel like we HAVE to keep these destructive relationships in our lives out of obligation.  “But this is my parent…I can’t let go of my parent…”  I hear this often.  When this person, WHOEVER it is, is abusive and unwilling to change then tell me…why would we want them in our lives?  Why would we want to subject ourselves to that type of energy?  Why would we sacrifice our well-being just because we feel we HAVE to?

No.  This is not right.

We deserve the best in our lives.  We deserve to be surrounded by people that support us and be our cheerleaders.  To care and comfort us in time of need.  To help guide and uplift us to be the best that we can be.

I’m not saying that everything is going to be perfect.  There may be conflict and challenges that arise within these positive relationships.  The difference though, is in the communication that happens when conflict arises.

It’s to be constructive not destructive.  Both parties are willing to listen and share how things make them feel.  Both parties are willing to make changes and respect the boundaries that are being put forth.

I saw this Meme the other day that said something to the effect of ” people that leave you didn’t really love you because they wanted you to change…so stay the same because they never really loved you…”.  It slightly irritated me because the energy behind it was perpetuating victim-hood and was covered in guilt energy.

What if the exact thing that your loved ones really need is for you to leave their lives so that they can create their own new patterns?  Maybe by allowing them to treat us badly we are possibly enabling them to participate in the dance?  Something to think about.

On the flip side…

If you are continually acting like an asshole and continually hurting the people in your life, then there is going to be a chance that those people are going to walk away from the relationship with you.  If you aren’t listening to what the people in your life are saying to you and are combative and unwilling to look at the responsibility that you hold in your part of the dance, then people may leave the dance.

We deserve the best in our lives.  The best in everything, especially with whom we choose to share these bests.

Choose wisely. 🙂

I am surrounded by some very fantastic people.  These people are men and women.  They are supportive, empowered, optimistic, dreamers, creatives, and full of life.  I am grateful for this and I do realize that not everyone has this.

I’ve decided to create a Spiritual Round Table that meets once a month in my home.  Well, my table is square…but you get the idea.  Haha!  I’d like to create an environment when like-minded people can come and share their ideas and have conversations about different topics in a non-judgmental space.  Some of the topics will include spirituality, intuition, meditation, health and wellness.

This will be an open space to talk to others about things you know and ask questions about things you don’t.  We will have set topics for the evening that will be emailed out ahead of the session.  The sessions will be 2.5 hours on a Thursday from 7pm-930pm.

I will ask for a donation (to be determined by you) to offset the cost of hosting, but you will not be turned away for lack of funds.

There is limited seating, so if you are interested reserve your spot as soon as possible.

Date:  Thursday, Feb 5th, 2015

Time:  7pm – 930pm

Place: Maple Ridge, BC

Register Here

Sometimes it can be challenging to go from being a negative thinker to a positive one.  We are essentially creating a new habit and we must first become aware in how we are thinking.  Sometimes we aren’t even aware that we are thinking negatively.  It’s important to pay attention to the words we are speaking and thinking.  Are they uplifting or discouraging?

One way to create more positive thinking is to surround yourself with more positive people.  It’s time to eliminate drama and the people that create drama in your life.  Are the people around you inspiring and supporting you and your dreams and goals?  Are they encouraging and uplifting?  If not, time to let go of or really limit the time you spend with them.  One thing I pay attention to is how I feel after being around someone.  Tired and demotivated or full of energy and ideas…pay attention to this.

Secondly, BE GRATEFUL.  Look at what you have in your life that is positive and focus on that.  Create more of that.  When you are in a stressful or challenging situation ask yourself what is good about this?  Look for the gold in any event in your life.  There is always something positive in every problem you are facing.

Number three?  Take responsibility for everything in your life.  You have created these events, so take control and look to change what is happening around you.  When we take responsibility, we are sitting in a more empowered state rather than one of being the victim. When we play the blame game we are in a victim mentality and it can be challenging to change what is happening.

Lastly, it’s really important to create some alone time.  I know this could seem like a strange thing to have on this list, but it is really important to incorporate alone time in your life.  Recharging our energy is really important to our mental/physical/spiritual well-being.  One of the best ways to recharge your energy is to get some alone time in.  Meditation, yoga, exercise, reading, listening to music or just being in the moment are great ways to recharge and balance your energy.

There are many other ways to help you transition from negative thinking to positive thinking.  Forgiveness, being more kind, or trying not to over-think things are just a few other ways to help get you there.  The bottom line is that you really must be willing to make the change.  Once you decide that you are willing to change these thought patterns, the steps will fall into place.

I came across this video which perfectly sums up what I tell my clients who come in with relationship questions or challenges.  We first must become in alignment with who we are and find fulfillment from within.  Focus on self-love first, shift your energy and raise your vibration.  THEN look for someone who is vibrationally at match with the fulfilled you.  Do not depend upon others to make you happy.  Make yourself happy.

I LOVED the marriage vows Abraham/Esther speaks of in this video.  I will paste them just below and then you can listen to her say them in the video.

“We would like your marriage vows, or your relationship vows, to go like this: ‘Dear one, I want you to know that as much as I love you, there is someone who comes first before you. And that is my alignment with the Source within me. That is my Inner Being. That is who I am devoted to. That is who I’m aligned to. That’s who I’m feeling for. That’s what my commitment is to. And my promise to you is, that I will give you as much as I can – the fullness of me – not a separated me. I’m going to do my best to satisfy my alignment, and therefore give you the gift of living with someone who is aligned. And what that will be for you, what that will mean for you, how that will play out for you is: I won’t be needing or demanding from you behavior in order to keep myself happy. My happiness will be dependent upon my focus.”

Enjoy!!